Well, first we met parrots. That's not a monkey. Obviously.
I met a red one. This is a real bird, in a real park in Honduras. Don't worry, it didn't just land on me. You walked up to a man holding them, and he put them there. If it had just landed on me, I think my reaction would have been much different. Lot more flailing and screaming.
THIS is a monkey. A spider monkey. It's a combination of a teddy bear, old man and baby. Teddy Bear for fur, Old Man for face and unibrow, Baby for size and the fact that it would look at you for five seconds and then stop caring about you immediately.
Unless you were Carisa. Then it wanted to do your hair. This same monkey took a bobby pin out of Kate's hair and stuck it's arm in John's mouth. They tell you when you take the tour to let the monkey do what it wants because it's just curious, which sounds like the monkeys told the tour guides to say that so they could grab our wallets and split the take, but this monkey just wanted to style hair and examine people's teeth. There was another larger monkey there named Nino, but Nino was chained to his monkey-house because he was being punished for being "too friendly". I'm gonna say the park made the right call there. An overly-friendly monkey ruins everyone's good time.
I met a red one. This is a real bird, in a real park in Honduras. Don't worry, it didn't just land on me. You walked up to a man holding them, and he put them there. If it had just landed on me, I think my reaction would have been much different. Lot more flailing and screaming.
THIS is a monkey. A spider monkey. It's a combination of a teddy bear, old man and baby. Teddy Bear for fur, Old Man for face and unibrow, Baby for size and the fact that it would look at you for five seconds and then stop caring about you immediately.
Unless you were Carisa. Then it wanted to do your hair. This same monkey took a bobby pin out of Kate's hair and stuck it's arm in John's mouth. They tell you when you take the tour to let the monkey do what it wants because it's just curious, which sounds like the monkeys told the tour guides to say that so they could grab our wallets and split the take, but this monkey just wanted to style hair and examine people's teeth. There was another larger monkey there named Nino, but Nino was chained to his monkey-house because he was being punished for being "too friendly". I'm gonna say the park made the right call there. An overly-friendly monkey ruins everyone's good time. This park also included a rope bridge that was straight out of Temple of Doom, lizards galore, and a beach trip, but let's not kid ourselves. Monkeys are the story here.
Kevin, you look like you've been released from your stay at whatever medical facility you were forced to visit, and part of your integration back into society involved taking care of a monkey for a very VERY short amount of time.
ReplyDeleteAnd who the hell wears a shirt with a banana on it when going to play with monkeys?! Carisa Barreca, that's who.
Remind me next time I want to go look at the lions at the zoo to wear my shirt covered in gazelle blood.
Wait, no. I should probably just throw that shirt away.