Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The People In Our Neighborhood....

So basically we live in a floating circus....

We have Jugglers, Magicians, Fire eaters, and contortionists as our neighbors.

In this post we are about to inroduce you to just a few of the wonderful people who we having been living with these past 3 months.

Meet JP... Jean-Pierre Parent.

He is the comedy magician on the ship and he is as wonderful as he is short. Yes, that was a backhanded way of saying this little man has so much talent packed into his 5' nothing frame that you can't help but love the little guy.

Carisa and JP host "Dancing with The Jewel Stars" together and Kevin and JP drink together...

This little guy is always a good time. If you don't already have one - We suggest getting a magician as a friend as soon as you can!

Next up: Meet Stephanie.
This little firecracker is our Personal Trainer on the ship.

She is the one that makes us pay for our food sins. She runs the yoga, spin, pilates, and all other sort of classes.

Stephanie makes us hurt.
Next: Meet Kim.
Kim is the Port and Shopping Consultant on the Ship.

If you ever need diamonds, watches, liquor, a small child, ANYTHING... YOU ASK KIM!

Kim knows where to get it cheaper, quicker and better then anyone else.

She also has a love for all things fancy - which makes her way out of our friendship league...

...but her love for all things alcoholic puts us in her good graces.

And those are just a few of the magical people in our neighborhood. Stay tuned next time to say Hello to some Kittens and meet a man who lives off vodka and sweats glitter.

Monday, June 21, 2010


Hey! We went to Epcot!

We're excited! Carisa's excited! I'm excited too! Trust me.

Epcot is a magical passageway to different times and cultures. You can go to Mexico. Forget seeing actual Mayan ruins in Honduras. See one interns built in Southern Florida.

Or a Viking hall in Norway! Remember Vikings? Now you can live just like one, except with deodorant and, you know, laws against stealing your wife and lighting you on fire.

You can also travel to......SPACE!!!! OOOOOOOOooooooohhh! These are the actual helmets they used on Apollo 11. You can buy them at the gift shop.

After space, go to Germany with John and Andy.

Then France with me and John. They have beer. We know, because we found some.

Hey, you like art? They got all kinds of art in France. John and Carisa just made some.

Then, they took an old-timey picture of it. Carisa's got the phosphorus burns to prove it! Bully!

Right next to France? Morocco.

Then, of course, England. We got confused about the capacity of these things.

John saw a princess and Freaked. Out.

On the way out, Carisa and Andy picked up some mouse ears. Proof that we toured the world.

Yes indeed. Proof.

Carisa looking adorable.

Me looking like Boba Fett.


Monday, June 7, 2010

New York With Lauree and Marc

As you well know every week you port in New York. The ship disgorges it's old passengers and scarfs down a brand new batch, as it becomes increasingly clear that I should eat lunch before I write these. While all the passenger switching is happening, the crew sneaks off and wanders about the Breezy Banana. Sometimes we are joined by family. This weekend...that happened.

When we met up with Marc and Lauree! Woohoo! In town from Bawlmer (or Baltimore, if you're some college fancyboy) we spent the day with them in Manhattan.

This is Marc checking a map while Lauree looks around Rockefeller Center, but we're getting ahead of ourselves.

Carisa and Lauree at Eatery NYC, an awesome breakfast spot in Hell's Kitchen. If you told someone in Hell's Kitchen around 1982 that there would be a kick-ass, high-end eatery named Eatery in the neighborhood, they would have laughed in your face. Then they'd probably beat you with a tire iron and dump you in front of the Javits Centre, since things like that seemed to happen every 6 minutes in Hell's Kitchen back then. If you were surprised, that was your fault. It's called Hell's Kitchen, for pete's sake. Thankfully it's 2010, and we had a beatings-free breakfast.

Carisa got this. It's French Toast with ice cream on it.

This was for the table, Macaroni and Cheese with onions.

I had this, Kobe Beef Sliders with french fries. I get french fries for breakfast I'm adventurous. I really have to move on before I start chewing on my computer.

After Eatery we walked through Manhattan over to Rockefeller Center. Here's Radio City, where they keep the Rockettes.

And NBC Studios, where they keep TV. We decided since we were here, to go up to the observation deck.

Carisa and Lauree, tickets in hand. Three elevators later we were at the Top of the Rock.

And this was the view! Come on! That's the city south of Rockfeller Center.

And here's the view North. The big patch of grass in the middle is Central Park.

This guy...he loves maps!

Carisa and me, top of the world.

Where's the Empire State Building? I can't....I can't find it.

Carisa can't find it either, no matter how much she stares into the metal owl.

Oh. There it is. Next to the 100-foot blonde girl.

One more because it's a landmark.

After the Rock we went down to 6th avenue where the street was blocked off for a fare. I'm sure drivers were thrilled. You can't tell from this picture, but seconds later, I'd be wearing a different hat. Anything can happen in the Big City. We walked around here for a while, but pretty soon it was time to head back to the ship, so we hoofed it back to the Kitchen and parted ways with Marc and Lauree.

Look! There they go! They'll be back in the blog in about a month, when they cruise with us on the Jewel. We guarantee three arrests while they're out.

Until next time.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

More Inside the Jewel

"You posted pictures of the ship?" Carisa said. "What a great idea!"

Well, that's settled. Here's more intra-ship fantasia. I just woke up.

Last night, on our way up the crew elevator to dinner. Note the nametag. It says Kevin Sciretta: UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Represent.

"Meet, Greet, Repeat." I think that was also the slogan of the 1993 Bulls.

This is where we perform the big show every week. Holds a little over 1000 spectators. Now I know how Roman gladiators felt, except without all the slavery, lion attacks, and having to kill people I just met. In fact, I rescind my previous statement.

Me, surprised, at the entrance of Fizz Bar, the karaoke lounge. I go here and imagine my friends from Chicago screaming their favorite songs after 12 beers. They've got "Proud Mary" and "Don't Stop Believing", guys. I'm not saying. I'm just saying.

Chin Chin's! Asian cuisine in three parts: Teppanyaki (think Benihana, but you're, you know, in the ocean.), the Sushi Bar (self-explanatory) and Chin Chin's (Dishes from all over the continent, including Mongolian Hot Pot, which is apparently fondue with meat and oil, so, there's no excuse why I haven't gone.) I always order crispy wontons, then yell at other people for not ordering it. I've been told to stop doing that. The yelling part. I will NEVER stop ordering the wontons.

Aerial view of piano lounge in Bar City. Bar City: Official Candidate for the 2022 Winter Olympics.

Ceiling above Chin Chin's, Bar City. Bar City: Sister City to Bangkok, Shrevport and East Lansing.

Mama Ocean.

Carisa and her first and only love.

There's more to the ship, but if we put all those pictures in, you wouldn't come back, would you?